mamma.

Okay, so I'm gonna pretend I wrote this yesterday when it actually was Mother's day in Sweden. Will you pretend with me? Thanks.

So my mother is just about the most beautiful person I know. She is one of those women that just can do anything. Sometimes I feel like she's been maybe a bit too nice to my dad, letting him have the big career, because if she would have wanted it she could have been the Swedish Minister for Education by now. That's how good a teacher she is (or so I've heard). But at the same time I'm glad she was a teacher while my brother and I grew up, it meant that we had two whole months together with her every summer. When all the other kids had to go to summer school we could just stay at home baking and drawing and do wonderful trips to the beach. So thank you for that! Truly. We had something special that other families definitely missed out on.

And now, since a few years back she is getting everything she can and want, having an important job, making important decisions but still changing the lives of the kids who need it the most. That's my mom, she really changes people's lives. And I don't know a single person who has ever not been affected by her way of moving through the world. She's like this well of wisdom, whatever the problem she has the solution. I wish I was more like her and less like my dad (sorry dad, love you) you know, calm at all times. Never freaking out, emotional and loving but steady, not with a temper like a three year old, like mine, but serene and beautiful inside and out. I hope it comes with age. Because when I grow up and raise a kid I want to be like her. Calm at all times. Thinking about the eight most precious words anyone can ever say to me, "Lotta, ta det lugnt det ordnar sig alltid". The words my mother has told me since the day I started worrying too much.

My mother is the most beautiful woman and best mother in the whole wide world. True story.

"ring, ring why don't you give me a call? ring, ring happiest sound of them all"

Tallyho people. Isn't it a wonderful day today?

Well yes. It is. Why? I don't know. It just is. And to celebrate this I'll show you my latest photoshop creation. A logo for a group project in industrial design history. All rather fanicful.

rrrrrambling

Oh I'm still tired from Saturday night. Seems like this weekend was the weekend everyone had a little bit too much champagne (haha, Emelie).. I loved and hated this weekend all at the same time. Right now I'm so, so happy I'm here in Australia living this life with these amazing people but at the same time I have to say I've never missed Sweden this much before. I just, just want to go home now. And keep Australia as a good memory before it turns and becomes something bad.

So, Australia, I still love you, but I feel this is the peak of our relationship... Better quit when we're on top, right?

nerd alert.

So yesterday we dressed up like nerds and jocks and went to this Scottish guy's birthday party. I was a nerd. I like being a nerd.

smile and the whole world smiles with you

Oh and because I'm not carying about stainless steel frames and concrete pillars right now I get to google for ads like this. And think about how everything seemed so much more pleasant back in the day. And also how much this lady looks like my mom. And how I'm someone's sunshine. And how happy I get to hear that everyday. Things like that. Screw you construction.

berlyne and his theory

I decided to not do my construction any more today. I'm only doing things that make me happy. Like thinking about what nail polish to put on and if there's any idea for me to shave my legs tonight. Things like that. And making fun things like this graph. I have now evaluated Dreyfuss' Bell Telephone Model 302 in three different graphs. This is about visual complexity. It's this sort of stuff that makes my engine spin peeps. Graphs and maps. And shaving my legs. Not how steep a boardwalk for a ferry pontoon is allowed to be. Na ha.

happy tuesday.

vaniljhorn, made on a day when i was a little less happy.

Hey people. How are you doing out there?

I'm doing just fine. Wanting to kill my tutor for the stupid construction project I'm doing, but otherwise I'm fine. A little bit more than fine actually.

When I'm not in my best of moods I bake, and usually quite successfully so. Yesterday I tried to make a quiche, but the dough melted (!). And today I dropped my whole lunch on the floor just when I was done making it, so now Super Ivan say I'm too happy to bake (or cook)... Too bad.

Anywhosers, I'd rather feel like this and eat cereal for the rest of my life than crying while whisking eggs with sugar. Fact.

monday.

image.
Monday, Monday. What possibilities that comes with a Monday. This week I'm gonna be more happy, more lovely, less paranoid, more healthy, less overly nice, more productive. I want to be everyone's sunshine everyday, but still have my dignity intact. Tricky thing. But I'll make it! All in the spirit of 7th of May.

Are you with me? Hell yeah.

i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world.

And of course you are sitting at home right now wondering what I might be up to at 4 pm on a Saturday.. Well, Veronica and I are getting ready for Jessica's birthday party. Barbie theme. Hell yeah.

I'm going all in on the makeup. All in people.

.

my heart says boom boom

Oh. My brother and his wife is the cutest couple ever. They make me believe in love. Really. Like it actually might maybe happen for me at some point. You know, it might happen. Perhaps. Highly unlikely. But it might.

Have a look at their photos here and believe a little bit you too!

"i'm living in an age that screams my name at night"

making hallongrottor makes me happy.

So what have I done since you last heard from me?
Well, not much really.

Baking of course. That's it really.

And, I think I maybe have found at least one fluttering little butterfly. That my friends hasn't happened in a long time.

food. food. food.

I'm thinking of skipping this whole blogging about my tedious life and my hefty mood swings. How about a cooking blog? Yeah. I think that is the way to go. Me hiding in the world of baking and cooking and maybe that will make me a more cheerful person.

I'll think about it. I will. What do you think?

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flickr favs.

You know I love, love, love flickr. Well here are my latest favourites.



1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

pop pop.

image.

I feel like I'm gonna explode. Really. Like the Popcorn Man. I have actually met him in real life. He wanted to interview me for some political show he was sending from his own radio station. I freaked out, here I was in Visby with THE Popcorn Man. I got shit scared. He looks just like he does in the clip, and since it was a very hot day.. He was sweating just like in the clip. I got so scared that said I had a seminar to go to and disappeared. I should at least asked him for a photo...

Anywhosers. The reason I'm exploding? Well when I'm sad I eat. And when I'm stressed I eat. (It makes me focus on something else for a while.) That's why. And this week I've been both. And it was Veronica's birthday so we have had a bbq two days in a row. And then Taylor and Bianca made american panckaes for breakfast.. Hrm. Not good. Now my running shoes are going to be a part of me in my quest to run, run, run away from this week.

.

...

image.

Life is a bit hard right now. An extremely sad thing has happened to a person who once was the dearest in my life. He was the first ever to make me fall in love. The first one to make me feel loved. Feel adored. He is gone now. Forever. And I'm broken.

Just so you know.

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congrats to me!

When I was in Sweden, we went to Taxinge. Best place ever. I had this. I always have this. And I always give the cream to my dad. And he always puts it in his coffee. I'm a girl who likes traditions. Ok.

Oh my day just got so much brighter!
My parents just called and sang for me. It's my nameday today!

Happy nameday Charlotta!

Well, why thank you!


(Wow, I've never had so many exclamation marks in such a short entry before.. Bad Charlotta. Bad. Never more than two. Preferably only one.)

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monday morning in the library.

I'm in the library. Studying away. And listening to the group of boys sitting next to me trying to solve some sort of boring engineering mystery. One of the guys is not doing anything. He's just offending everyone in the group. Interesting to see how the other three's hate towards him grow by every minute that passes. A moment ago he said "Jake, it's so funny how we are friends. If this had been 200 years ago you would have been my slave. It's really great how whites and blacks can hang out these days..."

Haha. I would have stabbed him in his eye by now.

things i'm thinking about now:

- How much I want to bake bread, but can't. Decided on Friday. No more bread for a while.
- How I hate the design of my blog and wish for someone to make me a new one...
- How funny it must have looked like from the outside when Daniel and I broke in to Tobi's room in the search for his car keys.
- How sad I am for Tobi's sake that his car's gearbox is broken so he can't drive it and now the damn thing is leaking oil and our neighbour is threating to call the council if we haven't moved it by tonight.
- How much my back hurts but I wont complain because I don't complain any more.
- That I really, really, really have to pee but I just painted my nails so that wont happen for another 10 minutes or so.


.

whoop, whoop.

(part of poster numero uno.)

Progress!
Peeps, I'm making progress on my project! Almost one A1 poster done.

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"it's like my ipod stuck on replay"

Fell asleep at 8.30 yesterday. 8.30! On a Saturday. I feel like a grandma. The feeling got worse five minutes after I woke up, Nick and David were singing outside my door. It was six in the morning and they were just coming back from The Valley. They promised me last night that they would serenade me with "my" song when they got back. My song is Replay by Iyaz. Wow that song is so not my style. But it sounds like he sings "Charlie's like a melody..." And not Shawty. That's why.

Anyway. You will feel like a grandma when you are already up after a good 9.5 hours of sleep and your housmates come home after a night of partying. Trust me. You will.

.

here it is.

Are you feeling it peeps? The glorious feeling that something new has begun?

the wedding

One week ago I witnessed my brother getting hitched. Loved every moment of it!



Where we all stayed and where the party happened.


The church.


Mr Eriksson and Ms Neckman.


Mr and Mrs Neckman.


Love.


My Grandma was happy.


So were my parents. (Love the fact that my dad bought a tie to match my mother's dress. Cute.)


I was of course happy too! N.B. This was before I cried.


Cake. Mmm.

saturday, how i love you

Saturday today. First day after May 7th. My stomach finally feels alright after four days of constant pain. The sun is shining. I feel well rested.

Today, wonders are going to be made!

7th of may

Today has been a perfect day of "how not to live your life if you plan on becoming 90 years old".

Woke up at 1.30. Didn't fall back asleep. Got up at 6. Still a fever. Had half a cup of yoghurt. Couldn't eat more. Too tired. Went to uni at 7.30. Forgot to eat lunch. Ooops. Had a class between 1 and 4 pm. Went birthday shopping for Veronica. Wanted to kill everyone who decided to go to Queen Street on a Friday afternoon. Came home at 5.30. Sat down on my bed. Fell asleep sitting. Woke up at 9.45 pm. Still no food. Boiled some instant noodles. Made me feel sick. Now thinking of throwing up. Or going for a walk.

Oh, lovely Friday. But I'm not complaining. It's the 7th of May. Remember?

One thing that's for sure is that I will probably not sleep again for many hours to come. A movie and some pepsi max anyone?

if i were on death row.

I've noticed I almost only take pictures of food. And beautiful patterns. But mostly food. And my mother made it very easy for me in keeping up my newfound hobby when I was in Sweden. She's like the best cook in the world. True story.




And you know how I talked about this.. Well I think my mother read my blog because last Friday she made me (and my brother's American "family") grilled deer with hasselback potatoes, fried chanterelles and mushroom sauce. Oh. I love my mom. I really do. If I murdered someone in Texas and I was on death row. I would ask for this for my last meal. Fortunately I don't think I have it in me to kill someone so I'm glad I can just write about it here and my mother makes it for me.

deep breaths. deeeeeep breaths.

So it's 2.30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Fell asleep in the sofa watching Big Bang Theory with the housmates. It was 8 pm. So I went to bed and slept for 5 hours... And now I am definitely not sleeping anymore. Agonising over all the little things. Making my head explode. Stupid jetlag. Stupid everything.

Okay, no more complaining. Tomorrow (today) is a new day and I will stop being such a complaining bitch all the time. And I will bring myself to do all those things I'm scared of doing but that I know that I can do. It feels like tomorrow will be the day for that. 7th of May. A new day.



So to stop myself from feeling too miserable and lonely and in the search for som happiness I have now made myself a cup of almond tea, photoshoped two of my favourite photos from my weekend in Sweden and now it's book reading time. (It's just the cat and the house in the woods missing from me being a total old lonely spinster. I hate cats. This is never gonna work. I'm glad it's the 7th of May today. New day.)

"where did you come from? where did you go?"

Okay. Short note. I have now been at Frankfurt airport for an hour or so. And the bar I'm sitting in, drinking my beer, is only playing old 90's music. And Swedish predominantly. Rednex, Europe. You name it. Is it just this bar or is this a German trait. I think it's a German trait. I want to believe that. It makes me happy somehow.

And all I can say in German is Fleisch and Peitsche. I have another 4 hours left here. Fleisch Peitsche anyone?

love, lots of love. and some kiwi marmalade.

What happened this weekend I have barely any words for. Lets just say it was one of the most extraordinary weddings in history. Annika was so, so beautiful and my brother was radiating with love. And I cried. Oh I cried.

I still have all the pics on my camera, they'll be here soon(ish) promise!

This weekend has also been something of a record in how to get rid of a jetlag the fastest. After I landed four hours late on Thursday after 5 hours of sleep and 40 hours being awake and then showing my brother's American family around Swedish castles all day Friday... I must say I'm extremely proud of myself staying up till the wedding party ended at 4 am on Sunday, dancing, partying feeling the love without falling asleep. And I held my speech without making an ass out of myself and 20+ people came up to me and said it was the best speech out of all. (yay!) Proud. Me? Yup. Proud of my brother marrying the nicest girl in the world. And proud of myself for not passing out in church.

And my best tip on how to fool a jetlag? Make kiwi marmalade when you feel like sleeping. It's really the best way.