love is in the air..

Haha. Love the love. People, go out and spread the love! But watch Rugby instead...

math.

I have fallen in love with a thing. (Or is it a thing when it doesn't exist physically?) Alright, I fell in love with a thought? Creativity?

I'm in love. And every time I press that little arrow I fall in love again.

mamma.

Okay, so I'm gonna pretend I wrote this yesterday when it actually was Mother's day in Sweden. Will you pretend with me? Thanks.

So my mother is just about the most beautiful person I know. She is one of those women that just can do anything. Sometimes I feel like she's been maybe a bit too nice to my dad, letting him have the big career, because if she would have wanted it she could have been the Swedish Minister for Education by now. That's how good a teacher she is (or so I've heard). But at the same time I'm glad she was a teacher while my brother and I grew up, it meant that we had two whole months together with her every summer. When all the other kids had to go to summer school we could just stay at home baking and drawing and do wonderful trips to the beach. So thank you for that! Truly. We had something special that other families definitely missed out on.

And now, since a few years back she is getting everything she can and want, having an important job, making important decisions but still changing the lives of the kids who need it the most. That's my mom, she really changes people's lives. And I don't know a single person who has ever not been affected by her way of moving through the world. She's like this well of wisdom, whatever the problem she has the solution. I wish I was more like her and less like my dad (sorry dad, love you) you know, calm at all times. Never freaking out, emotional and loving but steady, not with a temper like a three year old, like mine, but serene and beautiful inside and out. I hope it comes with age. Because when I grow up and raise a kid I want to be like her. Calm at all times. Thinking about the eight most precious words anyone can ever say to me, "Lotta, ta det lugnt det ordnar sig alltid". The words my mother has told me since the day I started worrying too much.

My mother is the most beautiful woman and best mother in the whole wide world. True story.

my heart says boom boom

Oh. My brother and his wife is the cutest couple ever. They make me believe in love. Really. Like it actually might maybe happen for me at some point. You know, it might happen. Perhaps. Highly unlikely. But it might.

Have a look at their photos here and believe a little bit you too!

"i'm living in an age that screams my name at night"

making hallongrottor makes me happy.

So what have I done since you last heard from me?
Well, not much really.

Baking of course. That's it really.

And, I think I maybe have found at least one fluttering little butterfly. That my friends hasn't happened in a long time.

...

image.

Life is a bit hard right now. An extremely sad thing has happened to a person who once was the dearest in my life. He was the first ever to make me fall in love. The first one to make me feel loved. Feel adored. He is gone now. Forever. And I'm broken.

Just so you know.

.

the wedding

One week ago I witnessed my brother getting hitched. Loved every moment of it!



Where we all stayed and where the party happened.


The church.


Mr Eriksson and Ms Neckman.


Mr and Mrs Neckman.


Love.


My Grandma was happy.


So were my parents. (Love the fact that my dad bought a tie to match my mother's dress. Cute.)


I was of course happy too! N.B. This was before I cried.


Cake. Mmm.

love, lots of love. and some kiwi marmalade.

What happened this weekend I have barely any words for. Lets just say it was one of the most extraordinary weddings in history. Annika was so, so beautiful and my brother was radiating with love. And I cried. Oh I cried.

I still have all the pics on my camera, they'll be here soon(ish) promise!

This weekend has also been something of a record in how to get rid of a jetlag the fastest. After I landed four hours late on Thursday after 5 hours of sleep and 40 hours being awake and then showing my brother's American family around Swedish castles all day Friday... I must say I'm extremely proud of myself staying up till the wedding party ended at 4 am on Sunday, dancing, partying feeling the love without falling asleep. And I held my speech without making an ass out of myself and 20+ people came up to me and said it was the best speech out of all. (yay!) Proud. Me? Yup. Proud of my brother marrying the nicest girl in the world. And proud of myself for not passing out in church.

And my best tip on how to fool a jetlag? Make kiwi marmalade when you feel like sleeping. It's really the best way.

"he ain't heavy. he's my brother"

I would like to tell you about all of the important people in my life. First out is one of the people I love the most. My brother. Did you know he's the best brother ever? Well now you know.

There's a story I've never told anyone and it's about my brother as an angel. When I was 15 I was in a really bad skiing accident and almost died. When I was lying there in the hospital unconcious from the induced coma they had me in I had this dream that my brother was watching over me and he had this beautiful pink golden glow around him. Like an angel. And it kept me going. Because I could feel him there. In the room. And I think that kind of saved me right there and then. When I was better he sent me a letter to the hospital. The most beautiful letter anyone has ever written me. Every week for six months when I was doing my rehabilitation I read that letter and it made my cry every time. I still have it at home. In a blue folder with a white ribbon around it.

My brother is always on my side. Always. And he's funny. And smart. And a bit too nice to me, we have never had a single fight in our lives. (I so blame my bad boxing skills on him.) And he's always as happy as he looks on the picture. And he makes the best brunches in the world. With the best smoothies and eggs.

And in three weeks I'm going home to Sweden to be a part of the biggest day in his life. And it will probably be one of the happiest days in my life too. And I'm gonna cry. I know I will. Tears of the most beautiful happiness in the world. Does anyone know of a good waterproof mascara? It has to stand up to floods of salt water people. Floods.

Oh and I didn't manage to get a date for the wedding. Charlotta, how hard can it be to find a date? Just once? I'm an emabarrasment to all single females. I know. I'm sorry.

.

god i'm rambling. i know.

Because sometimes. When your best friends are hurting because boys treat them ill. Pretty things to look at keep me from crashing. You know those things that you can stare at for hours and just escape reality for a bit.

Because of those sometimes. When all I want to do is take the first flight to Edinburgh. To give a hug. To try and make things better. For those sometimes when I wish I'll never fall in love. Because it hurts so. I need beauty. And my camera.

For those times. I'm so happy I have my Nikon. So I can take pictures like these and find that it's the beauty of the world we live in and not anything else that keeps me afloat. It's a rusty frickin ship. (Haha. "Keeps me afloat" "Rusty ship" Oxymoron?) I know. But today I don't need much.



.

"it's raining in new york. and i know what it feels like"

Oh how I like that I have such beautiful and intelligent friends. Like Linda. One of the loveliest people I have ever met. She just brings the best out of me. Makes me work harder, question things, analyze things, stop analyzing things.

I miss her.

And that she writes on her blog that she misses me, just makes me miss her even more. Thank heaven for mobile phones I tell ya. What would I do without mine?

Right now I can't do anything else than just dream about where we are gonna go after the election is over in September. New York again? I better start saving.

"sponsored by destiny"

I have a feeling about the summer that's coming. I know it's gonna be a great one. I can feel it in me booones.

Just like the best summer ever. The summer of 2007.



The summer Emelie and I went on a road trip all over Sweden.


The summer of the 100 festivals.



The summer I had tonsillitis twice but just drank more wine so I couldn't feel it.


The summer when the sun was shining every day.


The summer when we didn't listen to anything else except Orup and Slagsmålsklubben.


The summer I wore pink wellies with roses on every day.


The summer I heard Detektivbyrån for the first time and everyone cried during their concert.


The summer we didn't eat a single hot meal.


The summer when I met the cutest boy with the softest lips.


The summer I didn't care that it was never gonna work out.


By far the best summer yet.

i just love flickr. i really do.

Flickr is my best friend. I can always find stuff there that inspire me, makes me happy, sad, angry, in love. It is the best invention ever. It really is.

"if everything could ever feel this real forever"

Sorry for being so silent for a couple of days. But I've been busy. Skived uni on Friday to go to the beach instead. It was definitely the right choice. I'm only living in Australia once right? And yesterday I studied the whole day making up for what I missed on Friday. Haha. I'm clever. I know.

For a couple of days I've been struggling with ridiculous home sickness. It's all very odd. I didn't think I would miss home. But I do. I'm blaming it all on Maya. The letter she wrote me just made me cry for ages and realize how much I miss her. How much I miss Scotland. And Sweden. My family. My friends. My grandma. My man..

But I'm glad I have Veronica here in the house. She keeps me sane.

"my heart goes like: bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp!"

Today it feels like I'm up on those clouds again. See yesterday was just as perfect as perfect can be. And I know you are reading my blog guys in 46 Heidelberg Street, so thank you. You really have no idea how happy you make me feel. Super happy as a matter of fact.



Yesterday contained:
Lots of love from all over the world.
Lots of wine.
LOTS of meat.
Lots of cake.
Lots of sparkling wine.
Lots of hugs. Oh how I love hugs.
Lots of screws.
Lots of more love.
Lots of sun.
Lots and lots of fun.
And one new German word. Unterlegscheibe.

Thank you Super Ivan for helping me with my German. Really. Thanks.. I teach them words like huggs and freckles. And they teach me unterlegscheibe... Something is definitely wrong here..