"like a bridge over troubled waters"

In life as in construction. Ramps are the spawn of the devil. Right now my only wish is that I will soon figure out how to build a bridge. Just like that. I'm sitting here waiting for that lightbulb moment.

*fingers drumming the table top*

Nope. No lightbulb. Better email dad, hopefully he knows.

mamma.

Okay, so I'm gonna pretend I wrote this yesterday when it actually was Mother's day in Sweden. Will you pretend with me? Thanks.

So my mother is just about the most beautiful person I know. She is one of those women that just can do anything. Sometimes I feel like she's been maybe a bit too nice to my dad, letting him have the big career, because if she would have wanted it she could have been the Swedish Minister for Education by now. That's how good a teacher she is (or so I've heard). But at the same time I'm glad she was a teacher while my brother and I grew up, it meant that we had two whole months together with her every summer. When all the other kids had to go to summer school we could just stay at home baking and drawing and do wonderful trips to the beach. So thank you for that! Truly. We had something special that other families definitely missed out on.

And now, since a few years back she is getting everything she can and want, having an important job, making important decisions but still changing the lives of the kids who need it the most. That's my mom, she really changes people's lives. And I don't know a single person who has ever not been affected by her way of moving through the world. She's like this well of wisdom, whatever the problem she has the solution. I wish I was more like her and less like my dad (sorry dad, love you) you know, calm at all times. Never freaking out, emotional and loving but steady, not with a temper like a three year old, like mine, but serene and beautiful inside and out. I hope it comes with age. Because when I grow up and raise a kid I want to be like her. Calm at all times. Thinking about the eight most precious words anyone can ever say to me, "Lotta, ta det lugnt det ordnar sig alltid". The words my mother has told me since the day I started worrying too much.

My mother is the most beautiful woman and best mother in the whole wide world. True story.

the wedding

One week ago I witnessed my brother getting hitched. Loved every moment of it!



Where we all stayed and where the party happened.


The church.


Mr Eriksson and Ms Neckman.


Mr and Mrs Neckman.


Love.


My Grandma was happy.


So were my parents. (Love the fact that my dad bought a tie to match my mother's dress. Cute.)


I was of course happy too! N.B. This was before I cried.


Cake. Mmm.

if i were on death row.

I've noticed I almost only take pictures of food. And beautiful patterns. But mostly food. And my mother made it very easy for me in keeping up my newfound hobby when I was in Sweden. She's like the best cook in the world. True story.




And you know how I talked about this.. Well I think my mother read my blog because last Friday she made me (and my brother's American "family") grilled deer with hasselback potatoes, fried chanterelles and mushroom sauce. Oh. I love my mom. I really do. If I murdered someone in Texas and I was on death row. I would ask for this for my last meal. Fortunately I don't think I have it in me to kill someone so I'm glad I can just write about it here and my mother makes it for me.

"he ain't heavy. he's my brother"

I would like to tell you about all of the important people in my life. First out is one of the people I love the most. My brother. Did you know he's the best brother ever? Well now you know.

There's a story I've never told anyone and it's about my brother as an angel. When I was 15 I was in a really bad skiing accident and almost died. When I was lying there in the hospital unconcious from the induced coma they had me in I had this dream that my brother was watching over me and he had this beautiful pink golden glow around him. Like an angel. And it kept me going. Because I could feel him there. In the room. And I think that kind of saved me right there and then. When I was better he sent me a letter to the hospital. The most beautiful letter anyone has ever written me. Every week for six months when I was doing my rehabilitation I read that letter and it made my cry every time. I still have it at home. In a blue folder with a white ribbon around it.

My brother is always on my side. Always. And he's funny. And smart. And a bit too nice to me, we have never had a single fight in our lives. (I so blame my bad boxing skills on him.) And he's always as happy as he looks on the picture. And he makes the best brunches in the world. With the best smoothies and eggs.

And in three weeks I'm going home to Sweden to be a part of the biggest day in his life. And it will probably be one of the happiest days in my life too. And I'm gonna cry. I know I will. Tears of the most beautiful happiness in the world. Does anyone know of a good waterproof mascara? It has to stand up to floods of salt water people. Floods.

Oh and I didn't manage to get a date for the wedding. Charlotta, how hard can it be to find a date? Just once? I'm an emabarrasment to all single females. I know. I'm sorry.

.

mothers and boys. best ever.

My mother is by far the only person in the world who knows me the best. And I tell her everything. Well. Almost everything..

That's why I'm so happy that I know that when I get one of my panick attacks I can call her. And she calms me down.

And then when I can breathe again I go upstairs and the boys take care of me and give me chocolate and say that I shouldn't be sad because sad is stupid and I shouldn't complain because landscape architecture isn't a real subject and my ass is never gonna look as good as Ivan's.

That's what I need when I'm sad. My mom who can calm me down and the boys who can pick me back up again by making me laugh.


.

"ja må hon leva, ja må hon leva!"

So. Today it's my birthday! Exiting stuff really. Really.

And it couldn't have been a better day. Really. Got woken up at 7 by my parents calling from Sweden. Singing. And then I heard exited noises upstairs so I didn't dare get up. And all of a sudden they were all there. My lovely housmates. Singing. And bringing me cards and cake and tequila. Not to drink right then. But later.

And then, like an angel from the sky our landlord showed up. And she brought the bbq that she promised us when we moved in. Perfect timing or what?

So after 3.5 hours of laughing, at times almost crying Super Ivan and I had assembled the whole thing. It's a space ship. Brand new. Shiny. We call it Chivan. After its two creators. Beautiful really. Really.

So now after making cupcakes and salads we are gonna have a big celebrational bbq. I love my house. I love that it's my birthday. I love Australia. Really.

Oh. And that tequila is for now. Ohh yeees.

"i will bring you happiness, wrapped up in a box and tied with a yellow bow"

In two days it's my birthday. I haven't been this excited about my birthday for years.. I'm like a little child. That's maybe why I danced around and around all day Saturday in the cutest skirt ever. My parents sent it to me. How sweet aren't they? Oh and all of the Bilar is gone. Gone. Gone.

Oh. How. I. Love. Getting letters and parcels with the post. Give me more!

"il me dit des mots d'amour, des mots de tous les jours"

Did you know that one of my absolute favourite things in this world is to watch old, old movies with my dad. He and I have a mutual love for people like Rex Harrison, Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn and of course, the greatest of them all, Humphrey Bogart. Oh Humphrey. And that's where I want to be right now. In the sofa at my parents' drinking whiskey and watching a film with my dad.

Just before I went to Australia we watched Sabrina. I think it's my favourite. You see, it has both Hepburn and Bogart. Who can not love it?

So first out on my list of beautiful movies is Sabrina.

"i just like to smile. smiling is my favourite"

It feels like things has changed in me since I moved here. I'm a truly happy gal now. It's weird. I don't do happy as a wise man named Colin told me a couple of months ago. But you see, I think I do. Just wanted to share that with you. For no other reason than that I like being happy. This is me.

We went out again on Thursday. The Norwegian society's pubcrawl. Oh it was messy. But heyho how fun it was. It started at 6 pm and I think we came home around 3 in the morning. That's a lot of hours of drinking, peeps. Oh. Don't tell my grandma please.. She thinks I'm a well behaved girl. Oh I really am going to hell right?

Oh, well. I've finally been to a place called the Down Under Bar and it was just as tacky yet amazing as I've heard. Five minutes after entering the door people were getting naked on the dance floor for the chance of winning 100 dollars. Mmm. Love it.

And then when we got home after hours of dancing and drinking. I found a package for me in the living room. Oh. The joy of getting a package. It was heaps of salt liquorice. From my wonderful brother. He's the bestest in the whole wide world. And while Super Ivan laughed at my childish happiness over a bag of candy I had a piece of Tyrkisk Peber and felt like crying of joy.